Meeting of the Mind

It is a lot easier to make the body catch up to the mind than to readjust the mind to meet the body.

I have had a major reduction in the junk in my trunk since I moved to New York.  I can't get all back-patty because really it is just the result of walking everywhere - well, my constant lateness and therefor running everywhere- my poorness and sudden lack of appetite for beer.

Oh and I have been swimming or attempting to. I may have gotten kicked out of the slow lane by some prepubescent lifeguard who requested I join an old dude in snorkel gear in the recreational (aka doggie paddle) lane but I am keeping at it, if only because it is the one thing I do that can get my mind to calm down.

The other day I was sitting on the edge of the pool stretching on a mat.  Stretching is not the most attractive of activities even clothed so imagine doing it in a swimming suit and swim cap.  Hotness.

There I was touching my toes, my tummy doing unsightly squishy things, even doing bicycle sit-ups with cellulite fully exposed, in full view of the dudes in the cardio room.

It wasn't until I was shower-shoed and washing the chlorine out of my hair in the locker room that the significance of this hit me.  Chubby girl in a swim suit not feeling bad about herself.  How the hell did that happen?

I came home that night and took a look at some of my photos from LA and Russia. Damn, did I look good.  I guess that is what not eating and constantly hating yourself will do to you.  But no thank you.  I will pass.

It is so much easier to change a body than to change a mind and that is something we don't talk about enough.  We focus on fixing the outside first, thinking that is the key to inner happiness but it is not.  Show me someone who loves herself on the inside and I will show you someone who can tackle body issues head on, enjoying the process every step of the way. No one is perfect. We all have days when we hate our legs, our face, our great big rear end and that is okay. But we each have something special that trumps all that, that makes us special, beautiful and unique.

I like me, junk and all, and if New York culture can help me feel even better than that is a change I am glad to make but in the meantime I am going to enjoy the slow lane, as long as snorkel man keeps his eyes off my backside.  'Cause you know I look pretty damn fine in that swim cap.